Tuesday, February 4, 2014
I promised a play by play of a recent adventure that ranks among the top of most Epic of public humiliations. Let me set the stage for you…I had been home from the office for 2 days after being diagnosed with pneumonia. I found myself getting a touch of cabin fever so I felt I was safe to travel out into the land of the living. When I say safe, what I guess I really mean is that I had been on antibiotics for 2 days so I was not contagious. Wait, can pneumonia even be spread from one human to another? If it can then I was safe from a medical perspective, either way my feet posed to be a huge danger and anyone around was at risk. The adventure started out like any other typical outing, I pulled up at the store front, got out of the car, locked it and headed inside. I was on a mission to find an accent table for my living room. You see I have gone 10 years of living on my own without any tables in my living room. This always seems to pose a problem when guests are over and they want to place their beverages somewhere other than the floor. The lack of furniture is not due to a lack of hunting for that perfect piece, I have been on this mission for a few years now. I am not sure if this shortage of essential items in my home is due to the fact I am educated in interior design and I don’t want something in my home that does not fit perfectly or if I am just so picky that something more or less must jump out in front of me before I am sold on the item and feel it would be a great addition to my living space. Now might be a good time to let you know that I went 6 months without furniture when I moved into my first place after college. I slept on a blow up mattress and I sat on an exercise ball to read in the evening. Which for the record was not too bad, I never had those days when I felt like being lazy and staying in bed for a bit longer than normal, and I had killer abs being when I got tired of reading I just busted out a few crunches. Nonetheless I felt it imperative to my social life that I invest in at least something to sit on in my living room. There seems to be a golden thread through this post….my living room is a torn to my interior design side. Back to the humiliation at hand…as I was looking through all the accent tables at said store I found a table that I thought would be a perfect fit. Could it be so….have I FINALLY, after a long arduous journey, found a piece of furniture I thought would not only fit, but be a perfect fit for my living room? I was in slight disbelief that this could actually be happening to me, I looked over that table with a fine tooth comb. I was certain there was going to be scratch, a broken drawer, something. After very little time spent, I found the scratch that knocked the table out of contention and realized it was not meant to be. But I really liked the piece so I asked if there were any others in the back. Can you believe it, there was, and it was all wrapped up prudy in a box, which to me meant scratch free. A sales associate helped me to the front of the store so I could purchase this awesome, rustic, perfect table. The transaction was made and off to the car the sales associate and I went. I took my boyfriends SUV to the store with the knowledge that if I found something it was not going to fit into my car. As fate may have it, the table was not fitting into his car either. The back seats needed to be folded down if we were going to have any success in getting this table home. Isn’t it said that those ‘things worth having takes a lot of effort, time, diligence, and patients’…or something like that? I was trying to fold down the sets and was not having success so a phone call ensued. Help was provided and the need for more space was a reality. After folding down the backseat on the driver’s side I navigated to other side of the car to fold down the remainder of the row. Success was had, the table now fit, and as I was hanging up I met face to face the asphalt of the parking lot. That silly cart that had brought my table to the car somehow sprouted legs and moved itself right in my path. I didn’t notice this before finding myself on the ground, scraped up, bruised, all the items from my pockets strewn out everywhere, and my pride…it dies right then and there. I went home and have not left since.
Posted by Jen at 6:56 PM